My wife, Linda, and I hail from totally different cultures. Linda was from the southern regions of the
So it should come as no surprise to anyone that we might have some very different ideas about things.
We discovered a rather remarkable difference early in our relationship while shopping together in the grocery store one day. As we strolled through the produce section, I told Linda, "I think I'd like to have a turnip with my dinner." She said, "Okay."
However, when she saw me standing there holding the turnip in my hand, she looked puzzled, and asked, "What are you going to do with that?"
"I'm gonna eat it!" I replied.
She shook her head in disgust and adamantly announced, "I'm not eating that! It's the root of the turnip. That's what we feed to the pigs!"
I was quite intrigued and asked, "What part of a turnip do you eat?"
"We eat the greens." She explained.
"Well, I don't think I've ever even seen the greens of a turnip." I replied. "But if I had I'm quite sure we'd feed that part to the pigs!"
At that point I wisely placed the turnip back in the bin and we went on our way. But then I began to think...When did all this begin? Who told me that I should eat the root of the turnip, and who told Linda that she should eat the greens? Did it begin with my mother? No. Did it begin with her mother? I think not.
How far back would I have to go to find out where those turnip eating customs began for my family in the first place? And how far back would we have to go in Linda's family to discover when they first began eating the greens? Of course, it really doesn't make any difference in the grand scheme of things, but the principle behind all this most certainly does.
Here we were, quite divided on the point of which part of the turnip to eat and which part to feed to the pigs. What other matters, large or small, were we just as adamant about? Let's face it - we all have strong opinions and customs that we hold, or should I say that hold us; and in most cases, we didn't even choose those opinions.
Fortunately for us, we resolved our differences over the root versus the greens easily enough...we just don't have turnips for dinner at our house! However, from that brief exchange, I realized that there are many other things just like that which I had accepted as part of my internalized beliefs. Think of the many opinions and customs that have been handed down to us, generation after generation, that become a deeply ingrained part of our psyche. They make up our paradigms and directly impact how we live our lives - right down to the way we dress, walk, talk, and eat!
You see, Linda and I came into this world without any opinions or prejudices of any kind regarding turnips. Our little minds were wide open and receptive, ready to accept and believe whatever we were told to be true. It's a small matter in the grand scheme of things, and our lives are not suffering any for the lack of turnips at the dinner table. But it is an interesting example of how we sometimes allow our paradigms to keep us from having something we really want.
The point is that it's the principle to be learned here that makes all the difference. This is vitally important to understand, because it is the paradigm which literally controls our life. This goes well beyond the language you speak, the way you dress, what you eat, or the way you comb your hair. This early conditioning creates paradigms about self-worth, about health and wealth, and it directly impacts the results we are getting in life. Paradigms are the reason we do things the way we do - they control our ideas about money, our social IQ, and affect the way we interact with our world at large.
I first learned about paradigms when an enormous change took place in my life 45 years ago. My income went from $4,000 a year to over a million; and without a formal education or business experience, that was not supposed to happen. Unlike many people might have been, I was not satisfied with my good fortune. I had to know why it happened or even what had happened. It took nine years of serious study to become aware of paradigms, what they are and how they work - I had actually changed my paradigm and when I did my whole life changed! That is how powerful paradigms can be in your life. I have been teaching people how to do what I did, how to change their paradigm for years in our coaching programs. You really can live the way you choose.
Here's what you want to ask yourself when a Turnip situation occurs in your life: Did I decide this or did I inherit this belief? Is it preventing me from experiencing and enjoying greater good in my life?
You see, paradigms are deeply rooted beliefs that have been impressed repeatedly upon our subconscious minds - often by other people and circumstances around us. Our paradigms are both genetic and environmental, but either way they are stubborn and strong; they really put up a fight when they are confronted by a new idea and it's quite likely that your paradigms have staked out their territory and convinced you to give up on a big idea or opportunity at some point in your life. Probably many times in your life. It's the paradigm - what I call the monkeys chattering in your head - that tells you all the reasons something can't be done and all the reasons you don't deserve the good you desire. They are the cause of people staying stuck in bad spots.
The sad truth is that, most of the time, it's nothing more than a false belief or premise which holds us back from living truly abundant and successful lives.
The really important questions begging to be answered are these: What big dreams and ambitions are you foregoing because a big new idea slammed up against your paradigm about success or wealth? How do you push past those paradigms? How do you move through the old conditioning in order to act on a new idea?
It all begins with awareness and understanding about the mind and how it works. The key lies in identifying the paradigms that may be holding you back, and then learning how to replace them with new ideas that will move you in the direction of your dreams.
In fact, I think it's time I begin enjoying turnips with my dinner once again. Perhaps I'll try eating the greens!
Bob Proctor
Are you ready to go after those big goals and dreams that have remained just beyond your grasp? Spend a year with me as your mentor and coach - I'll help you push through the old conditioning and beliefs and enjoy the life you love and truly want to live. Go to: www.bobproctorcoaching.com
