Michael and I were in love! We were inseparable; a match made in heaven. Or so it seemed. And then one day, just like that the relationship was over, and boy did it hurt! My mind grappled with so many unanswered questions. What happened? I thought we were happy. I knew I would be okay, yet I felt as if there was a knife lodged in my heart. Life rolled on and I moved on.
And then...
It was the best job in the world. I had a huge office with large windows, flexible hours, and I was doing work I loved. My co-workers were wonderful people and they had become my close friends. One day I picked up a coffee and entered my office only to be greeted by my boss, who I considered a friend. He was waiting anxiously with a stern look on his face. He explained that the company was downsizing and my services were no longer needed. I was devastated. Once again, I felt as if something I loved had been taken away from me, and I wasn't sure where to turn next. The first sharp pains of disappointment eventually subsided into a dull, aching throb - a constant reminder that something inside of me was wrong. Like before, I felt lost and somewhat helpless. Life rolled on, and I moved on.
Have you ever wondered what it is about situations such as these that create unsettled, uncomfortable feelings within us that linger for so long? Is it low self-esteem? Is it an insidious desire to suffer because, perhaps, that is what's familiar on some level? Or perhaps another explanation?
And then - I realized, there must be a lesson here...
I discovered some truly life-changing information, which helped me to understand that there just may be a lesson in this experience...with study, came understanding. Gradually, a quiet voice stirred deep inside and told me to stop walking through life in a state of despair. A new question came to mind: Was it the situation itself, or was it my reaction to the situation that produced my pain?
I began a journey to discover the keys to controlling my emotions instead of being controlled by events or other people's behavior...after all, these are my emotions, produced by my mind, and experienced by my body. Why would I give control of myself to anything outside of me? I soon became more aware of the infinite possibilities now present!
My relationship with Michael taught me how to be compassionate towards another human being and relate on a deeper level. Further reflection helped me identify the unhealthy patterns within the relationship that did not honor either of us. Losing my prized job ultimately led me to dig a little deeper and understand the self-limiting beliefs that had kept me stuck all these years. This then led me on a journey to discover my unique gifts and go after my dreams. Both these situations taught me more about the freedom we have to uncover our deepest capabilities and shape our own destiny. I shifted my perspectives by using powerful techniques, which in turn transformed my feelings and behavior, and ultimately my results. Rather than feeling sad over a loss, I chose to be glad for the lesson.
You have the power to shape your experiences...
The one thing we know about life is that it is constantly changing. That much is guaranteed. Once we are able to accept this fact, then we will understand that we choose the perspectives that we take on. The greatest leaders of all time have unanimously agreed that thoughts are things, and that we become what we think about. Imagine if when everyday challenges arise - such as heartbreak, job loss, conflicts and arguments - you could remain calm and balanced instead of being negatively affected? Imagine if you could let go of the pain, emotional imbalances and self-pity, and remain focused and in control of your mood and your decisions. Guess what? You can!
In fact, you already have complete control over your mind, your emotions and your results. You simply need to train yourself to respond rather than react, to find acceptance of what is. Discover the good in everything and move forward with strength, focus and ease. Understand and believe that every experience further instills important qualities, values and virtues in you. This power already exists within you. Everything that happens has different layers and levels to it - things are not always as they appear. If you take a moment to calmly reflect, a higher lesson and opportunity to shift perspective will present itself, and propel you forward on your journey of personal growth. Maintaining a sense of Calm Confidence has literally transformed my life.
Our feelings come from our thoughts, perspectives and deeper sub-conscious patterns. Many feelings of suffering and pain are self-created and unnecessary. So much drama... these thoughts need to be filtered. Now, when challenges arise, I become conscious of my breathing, and call on specific techniques that I have learned which deeply affect the sub-conscious mind and invoke a Calm and Confident state of being.
This "possibility thinking" is the essence of what Calm Confidence is all about: To control the way you respond to outside circumstances, people or events - to any situation at any given time - and to learn the valuable lessons available in each experience. Your emotional state does not have to lead to unhealthy behaviors and you do not have to react in negative ways that impede your progress in life. Freedom comes from accessing your ability to control your mind, so that your mind does not control you.
Imagine what your life would be like if you remained calm in the midst of anything and everything! This leads to confidence - which my mentor, Bob Proctor, describes as "strength with style." This new-found confidence will eliminate worry, fear, doubt, and any sense of lack in your life while creating a more clear perspective as you remain focused on your goals.
Remember this: Whatever it is that you need to learn will show up in the form of a difficult situation. This is a good thing! The wisest answer is always to respond rather than react - reflect and trust the process. In moments of challenge, focus on your breathing and embrace the opportunity to see the situation in a different light. The lessons of Patience, Trust, Tolerance, Compassion, Understanding and Kindness may be uncomfortable at times, but - if seen through - will reveal the jewels that connect you to your higher self.
Calm Confidence is one of the great secrets of success, known for ages by a select few, and now revealed to anyone. To be Healthy, Calm, Confident and Happy, is the minimum standard for a human being! Don't settle for anything less!
I now have complete control over my mind, my feelings, my results and subsequently my world. Life will never be the same, and I am ever so grateful!
Sharone Benegbi
Sharone is an instructor in creating a calm confident state of mind. Visit her website at: http://www.calmconfidence.com or feel free to email her your thoughts on this story to: sharoneb@calmconfidence.com
